shivering blues

it’s not officially winter yet, but my bum is no less cold. it makes me think of better days, when the sky isn’t so gray and it doesn’t feel like the world is breathing down my neck. pressure pressure. air pressure? stress pressure.

this time last year i was in india. it’s 8th week now, so i think i was traveling by then…with mark. and we were all looking at temple after temple. it was hot. oh yes, i think we went to mysore first, stayed at that awesome green hotel. it’s funny– it all seems like it was so long ago, that i have trouble remembering all the details. but i can still remember the heat on my back and the beads of sweat forming on my nose, and climbing up three hundred steps at high noon. it was great. it didn’t feel so great then, but i’d give much to be doing that now. it’s cold. i don’t think i was made for cold climates. i don’t like the way the wind blows, like the arctic wind trying to drill inside your skull. i don’t like the way my lungs feel like they’re being filled with ice whenever i step outside.

but it’s not all doom and gloom. i like it here. it’s live-able. and it’s fun when it’s not cold. and i live 5 blocks away from barack obama. which is pretty funny. you’d think living close by someone would mean you would feel closer to them. i do, in a way. i was able to vote, and especially vote for someone that had an impact on the community that i’m living in now. but then there’s all the secret service, cops, blocking a chunk of 51st st., rerouting buses, cars, people. but it’s worth it of course. for the first time, i feel like i’m in the right place, at the right time. part of something bigger. ya either love it or hate it.